She’s just a ghost to me

I’m Listening to

It says galaxies will seize to exist one day. Naturally, it’s true and depressive at first glance but when you think deeper you see that it’s nothing important.

After a long time, I came here to write again. Because I don’t have anyone to talk to really. This is the only way to stop me from getting crazy. It’s always like this that for a while you think like you have a person who understands you but like everything else, it comes to an end and takes you back to the point you were at.

In the last months, I have dated with I don’t know how many women… I came to this point that I don’t even open the dating apps for a few days now. I am feeling numb again, I don’t talk to anyone about it. I know this will pass too as always have before.

After a month or two I came back to Iris’s house and I sleep on the couch, I don’t feel like talking to her. I wrote 2 paragraphs and I deleted it again. I’m at a point that I can’t find words or urge to talk to her. It’s like she’s just a ghost to me. I keep ignoring her and minding my own business and this really hurts her a lot. Should I feel bad about it? well sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t. But the thing is I can’t act like them as a fake person like nothing has happened. Shattered glass is sharp.

Sorry, the future Savalan who will read this. I don’t want you to feel bad or become emotional like I am right now. You are a good person and everything is going to be alright. This way or another you will be okay as you are a survivor and you know the end is just death and rest, so take it easy. Keep it simple as fuck! 😛

heh, I already feel better!

 

Til the next memory